I don’t know what it is - though I bet my all white cube with no windows can be largely to blame - but I feel in a rut.

I’m unmotivated, uninspired - all these pretty wedding blogs can’t even get me excited!

I don’t quite know what’s wrong with me but outside of work, everything is fine, great even! We’re going to CT and then to VT. We’re hoping by the end of the month to have our deposit on our reception site and we’re even looking into getting a second puppy.

But at work, I’m unmotivated. I couldn’t find the energy to drag my butt down to the gym over lunch - not to do some weights, not to go for a short run and not even to lounge in the jacuzzi while reading which is always a favorite past time. I loathe a majority of my coworkers, I found mouse droppings on my desk earlier this week which I don’t know about you, is enough to make anyone hightail it out of their job.

It’s taken me all day to even WANT to write this here entry.

Ugh I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve enjoyed my day off and my free time and now that i’m in this groove with only a couple days off being a big blob of nothingness…I’m just…blah.

How do you all get yourself out of these types of ruts??

I am not a normal caffeine addict.

Seriously.

I drink soda. Usually one/day. Or two. I stopped for a while, around the time that lent began…then around beginning of May, late April I started drinking orange soda…only to find out that it too had caffeine and all my hard work giving it up? Was for nothing and I had fallen off the wagon.

Then this morning I was perusing my Google Reader and lo and behold I saw this:

[courtesy of Real Simple]

Now granted, the premise of CarbonRally is about being green and cutting back on Carbon Emissions. But for me? Cutting back on the soda will be great for my health, my training regimen (hey Playful Professional care to go for a run or to the gym sometime this week or next? I’m working Wed PM, Thurs PM and Sun AM but any other day! Let me know when :) ), not to mention if there’s added benefits of all this being green stuff? I’m down.

How about you? You in?

Hi everyone! Some of you (all of you?) might not know me so let me introduce myself . . . (drum roll please!!!) . . . I’m Paula from Insert My Blog Name Here and the reason I’m inserting my BLOG here today (see what I did there?) is because Heidi and myself are taking part in the Twenty Something Bloggers Big Blog Swap.

So what to blog about? To be perfectly honest, I was a bit clueless at first as what I could talk about, after all, I’ve only ever guest-starred on someone else’s blog once before and so am a bit of a novice. But then I figured in honour of the fact I’m posting on an American blog, I would do a little something in honour of this. So here goes . . .

When I was a kid I always believed I was born in the wrong country – more specifically, I believed I should have been born in the USA. Even MORE specifically, I believed I should have lived in Sweet Valley, California, and gone to Sweet Valley High

Unrealistic, I know. Just a smidgen. After all, Sweet Valley isn’t a real place after all, and my dreams of being Jessica Wakefield’s best friend and co-captain of the cheerleading squad probably would have been futile anyway. After all, I wasn’t a perfect size six with flaxen hair and eyes the colour of the Pacific. I’d have been more likely to be one of Liz Wakefield’s causes, goody-goody that she was – probably because I was being BULLIED by Jessica. But there you go . .

Seriously though, did their lives seem so much more interesting than mine or what? Not least because I didn’t have a psycho trying to steal my identity (which to be frank I could probably have lived without). But everything seemed to come so easy for them, didn’t it

  • Break up with your boyfriend? Don’t worry, a gorgeous new guy is just about to come into town. You may have to fight for him, perhaps even for the entire length of a book, but don’t worry, you’ll always come out on top.

  • Overweight? Don’t worry - you’ll lose tons of weight, possibly without even TRYING, become a cheerleader and meet a great guy. (And possibly end up with an eating disorder a year later, but let’s not dwell on that one.)

  • Bullied? Don’t worry, you’ll be popular in several books time. (Possibly because you’ve became a cheerleader and met a great guy).

  • Without a date for the prom? Don’t worry, there’s always a spare hunky guy around to ask you

I can’t help but feel a little cheated. Because my life was never like that. We stopped having school dances after my first year in high school because half the year (and bear in mind there were 350 plus of us in the year so we’re talking a fairly significant amount of kids here) were drunk and disorderly – at the ages of eleven and twelve!!! We had a school prom but I didn’t go. I was never asked on a date in high school. I was never particularly popular. When a guy loads of people fancied admitted to one of my friends he liked me, I honestly thought it was a joke – and it never came to fruition (until three years AFTER high school, that is). I didn’t have my first kiss until I was sixteen. I didn’t have much of a social life because all my friends were getting into the pub and I was too young to pass for eighteen. AND I DIDN’T HAVE A SODDING SUNTAN because Scotland’s weather does not compare remotely to Southern California’s

When I was younger I had this idea that all of American teenagers are like characters from Sweet Valley High (although I suppose programmes like “The Hills” and “My Supersweet 16” do sort of reinforce that stereotype) and I was so jealous. Then recently I found a website which basically rips the whole idea of Sweet Valley High apart – and I realised just how unrealistic my view actually had been while I was growing up. I can’t BELIEVE it took me that long to realise that (how dumb AM I?) but it did

I’m sure it’s just another symptom of the “grass is always greener” syndrome, but I do feel like my adolescence was tainted by the view that my life wasn’t good enough. Even now I sometimes think people in the States have a far better life than I do – that everything seems ten times more exciting. Please reassure me that I’m wrong??

And does anyone fancy a life swap???

The male dog on the left, is Eddie. The dog on the right? Ellie at about 10 weeks or so. I found her adoption page today and sent it to fiance…they’re the only real puppy pictures we have of her so I kept the page bookmarked long ago.

Eddie, seems to be Ellie’s brother. We didn’t inquire about him when we adopted her. So today, I sent it to fiance and we decided to email the adoption coordinator about him, so maybe we could see if he was around the area and could set up a play date for Ellie and her bro.

“He’s still around…”

Was all we got out of her, and then told to inquire with the other adoption coordinator.

Maybe he’s still being fostered? Maybe he’s still in the area? Maybe WE could foster him….maybe…

if it’s not too expensive?

….

it might not be…i mean all her services give us discounts for multiple dogs…

….

let’s see where this inquiry goes. But how awesome for Ellie might it be? Of course it could also horribly backfire in our faces and we could end up regretting it but this time? Maybe, we can try him out, see if they get along, see how they do together…

“It would be like his and her puppehs….”

oh my.

P.S. No idea where my 20 sb blog swap is but I posted over at *insert my blog name here* today about growing up….and about puppehs….go check it out!

Boston? Was incredible. It included, a fabulous photo shoot, a fabulous dinner with a friend of fiance’s from high school that recently got hitched, a beautiful wedding, seeing old friends, getting obliterated off chardonnay followed by a pretty nasty hangover, decent flights, and an open invite to Martha’s Vineyard with a friend of mine from college who lives in DC - a friend who got me started in the college dems back in 2003…he’s definitely getting a wedding invite!

Tonight, after dinner was made and Meet the Press was watched, we did some wedding stuff. We got our proposal from the event planner at the Phoenix Park - about $5k more than we’d like so we’re going through and cutting stuff out so we can go meet with her and go over things before we put down a deposit (which we’re hoping to do after we go over everything with our parents in the coming weeks). We did our guest lists - somehow I’m inviting about 25 friends, he’s inviting about 35, i’m inviting about 30 family and he’s inviting somewhere between 25-30. Our number? Not including the ah-hem…B list (the maybes) is 119. We were shooting for 125. So it works out. I made him par down a bunch of his friends…it was at 60. I was like Dude. No.

Either way, everything is perfect. We’re clearing it all with parents - checking names. Getting addresses. Granted save-the-dates don’t need to go out till like…Christmas which is still a full 9 months before the wedding - is there any certain time frame for that? Especially if a majority of people will be traveling? Is 9 months late? Early? I’m still figuring all this out…

Bought a couple new wedding magazines for the flight, we’ve got a couple other ideas for the honeymoon - three options now, we’re going to see which is most reasonable:

1. Mexico

2. Ireland/Slovenia/Greece. Two days in Ireland then five-seven in Slovenia which is right near greece. I want beaches and apparently the beaches are just as nice as Greece but cheaper since they’re not on the Euro…o.O

3. French Polynesia - Tahiti. I’d love to go to Thailand but he said if we were going to go that way, why not just splurge and go to Tahiti…sooo we’ll see.

Later this month, we’re going to go to a cake tasting at Cake love since they do testings that are free a couple times/month. The cake at the wedding last night? Wassss increddddible. Everything was so classy and beautiful not to mention J and R looked sooo incredible and stunning and in love and just happy. I was so glad I could be there to share their day with them.

Anyhow, onward to finish the proposal changes, emailing Jess at Delicious Design Studio is doing the wedding website, my blog and fiance’s blog. Then? I’m done for the night. So much to do!

We peeked around Crate and Barrel for the registry but I think we’re going to do it this weekend :) I’m so excited!!

Anyhow, enough from me….i know you all enjoy the wedding planning updates so much ;)

Drunk…at the reception blogging between cake and journey and sweet caroline…

M
…Gah I can’t wait to get married.

Now …back to my neglected chardonnay

So far boston has been incredible, rooftop bars with pals (aka two of my bridesmaids), seeing new and old friends over dinner and drinks, and seeing the bride and groom pre-wedding all make for a fabulous weekend.

I can’t wait to keep seeing friends, seeing proofs on Sunday of the engagement pictures and enjoying the rest of my vacation. (which includes spending $100 at Ann Taylor Loft per fiance :) wahoo!)

More later.

[courtesy of Simply Stated]

FYI, I suggest everyone get to their nearest Old Navy this weekend. $1 flip flops? In all colors of the rainbow? YES PLEASE! I live in Old navy flippies, green, brown, black, blue, pink…though i’d love a yellow and a silvery pair. Hmm…what’s up no sales tax Boston :D

Also! This weekend, because we can, boyfriend and I are going to go to Crate and Barrel and start thinking about what we want on our registry. Same with Macy’s. Wahoo!! I’m so excited for the free shit that we’re going to rack up with this wedding :) Cause really that’s what it’s all about right? (just kidding. I’d marry him even if we weren’t going to get all kinds of free stuff ;) )

Also! Starting next week, Ann Taylor Factory store is having their fourth of July Sidewalk sale…up to 70% off!!! Unfortunately, since we’re splurging on a hotel this weekend in Boston, I’m going to have to Ixnay any shopping trips for the next month since i kind of splurged on my Engagement pictures outfit.

*sigh*

Anyhoo, later today I’ll be posting over at Gorgeous Footsteps in the Sand for Katelin. Not yet. But later. Before 5. 5:30 even. Since that’s when I’m leaving. Half hour late…half hour early. Booyah! no lunch for me *sigh*

P.S. I finished my first book of my Summer Reading Extravaganza…getting to work early does not work so well when you stay up till 2am reading. But the book? Sooo good! I love Jane Green. Though the ending left much to be desired. The epiphany that the MC has is so sudden…and so…unbelievable. Her timelines jump so fast that sometimes it’s confusing to understand where you are in regards to timing of everything. But? At least the ending is happy. :) Next up? Julie & Julia.

….I had had had more $$ to game the system at Ann Taylor Loft…I returned a shirt, bought two and had a $25 gift card. Total money spent? $5. Roughly. The trick? Bought the shirts first - $57 sans $25 for the card. Then? Returned the other shirt. For $27. $31 i paid minus the $27 I got back? Roughly $4-5. If anyone at the Ann Taylor corporate store reads this…i just did what the associate told me was best :)  I got these:
and

I might swap out my other pink sweater for the pink halter top that I just bought but it all depends on the weather this weekend in Boston. I pray…pray pray prrrrrrrrray it doesn’t rain. *sigh* Thoughts?

Anyhow, Happy hump day to y’all.

P.S. How do you go about NOT smudging your damned manicure within five minutes of walking out of the salon. I did it again. Ten minutes? Two nails smudged. Perhaps I’m just not a manicure type of gal.

P.P.S. some girl asked me last night if I was an associate at Ann Taylor. I was standing in front of a dressing room, putting a shirt that didn’t fit me back on the hanger, while wearing a shirt, standing in front of a room with my clothes in it. Open door. I said “do I look like i work here?” Kind of bitchily, i take offense to things like that, but she stuttered and said “well…you’re wearing the clothes.”

With tags on bia. With tags. On. *sigh* frustrating.

Mad Props to the Playful Professional who posted her Summer Reading List for the Summer Reading Extravaganza. I love a reading challenge - I participated in the Spring Reading Thing and loved the challenge of trying to finish all the books. This list is slightly smaller but has the ones that I didn’t finish in the spring with a few newbies that I have yet to purchase but have been dying to for quite some time. I don’t read in this particular order - I just started “the Other Woman” by Jane Green the other day and LOVE it so far. It’s very interesting to get a handle on Mother-in-Law and daughter relationships when I’m still building that relationship with my own future mother in law.

So here’s my list of summer reading :)

1. We’re just like you only prettier by Celia Rivenbark
2. Tabloid Love by Bridget Harrison
3. The Perfect Manhattan by Leanne Shear
4. You’re Not You by Michelle Wildgen
5. Stop dressing your 6 year old like a skank by Celia Rivenbark
6. Jule and Julia by Julie Powell started 6.26.08
7. Frenemies by Megan Crane*
8. Names My Sister Calls me by Megan Crane*
9. Not Tonight Honey, Wait Until I’m a Size 6 by Susan Reinhardt
10. My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler
11. Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler*
12. Bless Your Heart Tramp and other Southern Endearments by Celia Rivenbark*
13. The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl by Shauna Reid*
14. Marley & Me by John Grogan
15. Rex and the City by Lee Harrington
16. Swapping Lives by Jane Green
17. The Other Woman by Jane Green finished 6.25.08
18. The Myth of You and Me by Leah Stewart
19. Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger*
20. Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld*

What are YOU reading this summer???

* indicates books that still need to be purchased and thus will wait until later this summer.

So I’m guest blogging about my trend of sucky vacations over at Julie’s blog WTF Have I done!? Go check it out

You can read about me hating on Disney. Take that bias! (ok not really hating on disney just bitter that I’ve never been.)

I might be back later. I might not.

$200 later…i came out of my shopping excursion with a new dress from Forever 21 (which will be exchanged. I changed my mind on it.) a new scarf and a black tank top and a new wallet. A new dress and a new shirt (both are getting returned) from the Gap and then my engagement outfit plus a shirt that will be exchanged/returned. Coming out of this weekend a good $500 broker (groceries, hair cut, shopping, too much eating out/wine….yikes!)

But you’ve all been so patient, so here’s the engagement outfit…bless me in my white pants. I’ve never owned a pair and god help me from staining them in the first five minutes…

White pants and pink top. Super cute. Super Jackie O-ish. With pearls. And my pearl earrings if I can find them and open toed white Steve Maddens. I am. Excited. Mad props to WhatLizSaid for helping me find the perfect outfit!

Then, Saturday morning came and went, I went to work, taught two abs classes (and then wondered why we aren’t getting paid $20/class to teach them if when Personal Trainers teach them they are getting $20/class) went home, checked out 101 Constitution (such a pretty view!!)

I fell in love with this place a year ago when we went to a reception there. Here’s us…

I mean isn’t that view just incredible???!!!

Thats the view in the opposite direction. *swoon*

Unfortunately for us, it’s way out of our budget. So we popped up a block or two to Phoenix Park Hotel and I think we may have found us a winner. Fiancé loved the character, the Irish character, the affordability and if we keep it smaller? It’s totally doable - with the upstairs for the cocktail hour (guinness and magners on tap!!) and then the ballroom for the reception. I see green hydrangeas, tea light candles, white lights, and a dance floor that’s hoppin’. It’s a beautiful beautiful hotel with so much character, and after the party is done? We roll over to the Dubliner for the after party. It’s a very…us venue if that makes any sense.

Anyhow, I scooted off to get my hair did - three hours later, it came out fabulous. Today it’s a little less on the fab side but still looks great and is oh so very soft :)

I didn’t do much with it today, he did an amazing job at curling the ends with a round brush while blow drying it. unfortunately, I? Not so coordinated. Friday, since I’ll be in Boston for the pictures (my pal M is taking them) I won’t be able to have fabulous new Gay Stylist blow it out, but I will be straightening it and having it look all kinds of perrrrty with fabulous new beachy, ann taylor outfit.

Phew, that was a mouthful.

Yesterday, gave blood, passed out - i was a bit dehydrated which I didn’t realize till I felt woozy. Made it about 45 minutes late to the book club (gah! that was frustrating but fiancé didn’t want me taking the metro up to Dupont and walking by myself. Given that I still wasn’t feeling quite so fabulous) but still had a fabulous time chatting with the gals. Did not go running at all this weekend. Need to start running soon. Though my pal who I’m running the marathon with might drag me out for a jaunt this weekend in Beantown. That’ll be good for my system. Really, I have no excuse not to, I have my knee braces sooooo…I just need to jump on the wagon. *sigh*

Anyhow, so there are your beloved pictures. I hope all you lovely freaders had fabulous weekends, for now? I’m going to go get more work done.

Dear Bubblebutt,

Since I don’t know you, I’d rather not hang out with you when you come to DC. But maybe, perhaps, if you stopped being an asshat, we could go shopping, not for fatty slut girl dresses - because I don’t think Ann Taylor Loft sells those but perhaps we could go shopping at Lane Bryant or another suitably fat girl store for clothing that would fit your bubble butt or as I like to call it, a lard ass. Also, if you’re calling yourself bubble butt, because you would certainly not be calling me that in the space for YOUR name when leaving a comment, I’m sure you’re quite familiar with the fatty slut girl dresses so if I ever decide that’s my style? I’ll be sure to email you at what is most likely a fake email address. So maybe I won’t be emailing you for fashion or hair advice.

In the mean time, feel free to play in traffic. DC has enough ass holes, and we don’t need one more.

Have a great weekend!

xoxo

-Heidi

P.S. Didn’t your parents ever teach you if you had nothing to say don’t say it at all? I know it’s easy to hide behind some fake email and douchey fake name, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to be a douchebag on my blog. Jerkoff.

P.P.S. Just because my hair isn’t purple, red or any of the other colors of the rainbow does not by any means make it boring. I like it and really? That’s all that matters.

….I will now return back to our regularly scheduled blogging :) Excuse this post dear freaders for the jackass had left a nasty comment on my post from Friday. I hate that shit.

We’ve all gone on first dates, with boys that we date once or twice, boys that stay in our lives, shopping dates with gay friends…everything has a first.

Well today, I had a first that lasted for about four hours.

I found a new hairstylist.

He was a quirky gay man with a streak of blue on his bangs. He had big hands and worked the scissors with an art I’d never seen before.

It was love, at first shampoo. The shampooist? Spent a good ten minutes on my hair, massaging my temples and scratching in all the right places with the temperature at a perfect temperature.

It was….glorious.

I left Vermont, and my stylist that my mother and I had had since I was young girl (minus a 7 year stint in Bennington) stayed there - obvi - but despite my five years in Boston, I never made the effort to find a new stylist. I went home every three months or so and during her walk in hours on Saturday mornings I’d go get my hair and my eyebrows done.

So earlier this week, I requested info on salons in DC from my freaders and from my twitter pals. i got a few good ones from you guys and from other friends/coworkers, I also did my own research and made some calls and settled on a place called Shears on 15th Street. The Asian woman who is the own sounded cute and gave me a good price on a color and cut.

My hair this morning when my new stylist looked at it, was no fewer than three different colors.

No lie.

It is, and I quote fiance when i say that this is the first time since “we started dating” that my “hair is all one color.”

Four hours later, my hair was all one color, a great length and blow dried to perfection. The only unfortunate thing about this experience? I know…I KNOW there is no way in hell that I’ll be able to recreate this work of art next Friday for my engagement pictures.

Damn.

However, this is a first date that I will be sure to call back in a few months. I got his digits, and I know when he’s free so I will be calling him back at least once or twice in the next fifteen months before the wedding. :)

P.S. Liz helped me find the perfect outfit for pictures, and fiance and I may have found our reception venue. But I’ll write on that tomorrow. For now I’m going to go enjoy my voulet wine and “20 greatest Celebreality FIghts” oh vh1 you’re sooo trashy I love it!

At some point, you have to let go. I’ve never been a pro at this, I would hardly call myself an amateur. I like to think I’ve gotten better over the past few years, especially after a short stint in therapy though I should probably go back at some point, it was very thought provoking and insightful to understand why my emotions work the way they do and how certain events in my life have effected my emotional wellbeing.

/end tangent

But I was thinking last night, while fiancé was out and I was catching up on my guilty pleasure (not to be named…) on the TiVO that I still have a lot of stuff at home. Not home anymore, fiancé and I’s apartment is home.

I digress (again), my mother has moved, since i graduated high school in 2001, four times now. In those four times my possessions went from a bedroom, to a few boxes in the garage, to even fewer boxes in a shed. If i asked my mother tomorrow where they were? She’d have no idea.

But I was sitting there thinking last night what was in those boxes, old cd’s that I’m probably too embarassed to ever admit i owned them, a box of sentimental crap from high school - movie stubs, newspaper articles etc…, and another shoe box containing the stuff from my high school “sweetheart” D.

Now, D and i have remained on good terms. He was in DC in March and boyfriend and I almost went to meet up with him, things didn’t work out but he is probably the only ex (of my few) that I’d feel comfortable introducing fiancé to. D and I werent’ always on good terms. We broke up in March of my senior year of high school and i shut him out for a few months after that. Cutting him out completely. Something happened that changed my mind, and since then we’ve hung out a few times, and in a phase of drunkenness at a party at RIT when I visited him, even held hands and acted dare I say…coupley. But it felt wierd. I knew then, as I knew in March 2001 that things just weren’t right. But, that box sits somewhere at home, with my prom corsage, pictures and his old sweatshirt that I kept because we lived 3 hours away from one another, and a few other sentimental items. I haven’t looked at it in God only knows how long but I think? Nows the time to dump it. Though maybe not my prom corsage.

But then I thought about THE ex. The only other ex that I ever once considered getting married to (and then consequently broke up with him because the idea of it freaked me out) was the college ex. I’ve mentioned him in passing on here. A few of you know the whole story. I don’t want to get into it because this week? I cut him out.

We kept each other at arms length since our dramatic breakup in May 2006 - just about two years and one month ago to the day with occasional bouts of not speaking at all. He wasn’t actively around, and I didn’t think about him often, I’d mention his name once in a while when talk about the past - fun nights with friends when he was there…that kind of stuff.

I emailed him Monday morning and said “we always promised each other the courtesy of telling one another when we got engaged. i wanted you to hear it from me and not from our friends. [Fiancé] proposed Friday night. I said yes. I wish you only the best and all the happiness. Goodbye” Then promptly deleted his contact info from my gmail and deleted all past emails that had some how stayed in my gmail inbox (i hang onto things for a looonnnggg time) and that was that. The pictures, the few that haven’t been destroyed in fits of rage on my part, and the mementos, again the ones that haven’t been destroyed in fits of rage on my part, are around, the select few photos are embedded with others of happy times with friends.

I can’t erase my past. I can’t erase the impact that the ex had on me. However, for so long we kept each other at arms length. Him, likely because he was waiting for my relationship to self combust and waiting for me to run back to him and me? Likely because i was just too scared to let go.

You’ll have that. But me? Not so scared any more. The past? is gone. The chapter of my life pre-engagement? Over. Closed. No more. I knew that a long time ago but I never fully accepted? No that’s not the right term…I tried to be friends. I tried to keep him around because of the memories we shared but now? Not worth it. I’m getting married to the love of my life and I? Don’t need the past in my life anymore.

But the boxes of stuff, the photos, the emails, they’re all gone. I’ll hang onto the photos of D from high school, file them away in one of the many photo boxes, and remember the good times and smile. He’s one of the few people left in my life that knew me way back then. Months ago, I wondered if I’d invite D to the wedding, probably not is the answer, and the ex definitely won’t be getting an invitation. We joked about invited Fiancé’s ex if only because she’s the one who introduced us almost two years ago - without the intention of us getting together. Shit happens, you can’t help who you fall in love with, you get over it and move on. We all have.

—————-

Anyhow, on top building that bridge and getting over all that crap, I’ve been being productive like whoa in regards to the wedding front. I think in regards to yesterdays post, I’m going to go with the Aniston do - as it’s…less drastic for me. We’re looking here and here for reception venues tomorrow afternoon (pre-hair appointment) and tonight I’m going to Pentagon City to have drinks with Liz and hopefully find a dress for my engagement photos next weekend - also known as Trying Not to spend Too Much Money…since like…I love every dress on the Forever 21 dress site as well as a new wallet as well as the Gap Dress and did i mention that there’s a huge sale at Ann Taylor Loft - spend $50 get TWO $25 saving cards??? Yeah. That’s right. I risk spending away my wedding. *sigh* keep it in check heidi….keep. it. in. check.

Anyhoozle…happy Friday kids :)

I’m obsessed with being organized.

I think this trait came in college when I had a gazillion and one things going on at all times - student government, the college democrats, the statewide college democrats, classes, committees I sat on…you know and the whole keeping a social life.

I became neurotic about my organization.

Now if you looked at my desk at work you would wonder how the hell i stay organized. I do. I really do. Sure right now there’s a slue of papers everywhere. Folders that hold each project that I’m working on and all related papers/notes etc…But me? I’m organized.

So welcome to my wedding planning obsession. I bought a binder the other day (thank you Emily Post! *swoon*) and right now? When i should be listening to a hearing that is NOT being webcast unlike what my boss predicted, I’m going through the reception venues fiancé and I found yesterday online.

But the real anal-retentiveness kicks in about now. Excel spreadsheets. Like my bills and like much of my work, I am infatuated with excel. So this morning? I’ve spent probably far too much time, re-clicking the links of the venues we perused yesterday online, entering in location info, price info (if available), etc…etc.. so that when I go home to Vermont in July, I can make a pitch to dad to pay for some/all of it.

I have a color coded calendar hanging next to my desk, colors represent my work schedule, work meetings/events, bills, birthdays, and social/personal life stuff. Otherwise? I am the queen of forgetfulness. No lie.

I should also mention in addition to my anal retentive organization skillz, I’m a mild control freak. Meaning, I take on everything I can in order to minimize any fuck ups from other people. i hate hate hate not being in control of things - take for instance, wedding planning. That’s right. Fiancé and I are doing pretty good about looking up different venues together and sharing, but really? When it’s going to come down to the details I’m going to go crazy if things aren’t perfect. I lack trust in other people. I lack trust in other people’s ability to follow through. It’s just me…a bad trait. Not my favorite but definitely a quirk if you will. Thankfully, fiancé is pretty good at keeping my control freakishness under control.

——————

In other news, i have a hair appointment on Saturday afternoon. I’m getting it dyed professionally for the first time, and I’m getting it cut for the first time in four months. Four months isn’t bad considering I’ve been known to go as long as 6-9 months in my laziest days.

Not lazy per say, but nervous. Trusting someone else with my hair? A big deal to me. I don’t trust just anyone. I freaked out the first time i realized my hair needed to be dyed and I had no friends around to do it for me because for as long as I could remember? Either my mum or pals at school did it for me cause I? Not good with that stuff.

So professionally done it will be. I had a hard time deciding between a Salon in Dupont that a friend recommended to me and that I later read about on Jackie’s blog then I found a good recommendation on Yelp! for a salon over near the White House. So i called up Shears first - on 15th between H and I Street, and the lady was uber helpful! I told her I wanted my hair to be in good shape as I’m getting engagement pictures taken next weekend and need no roots and need it at a decent length. She was uber excited for me. I asked how much it was going to cost, she estimated about $125 and I told her I wanted to call around a little bit, but she was like “well what do you want to pay. I want to get you in here so what are you looking to pay?” I told her between $100-$125 was what I was expecting (I gasp even thinking about spending that much on my hair. The most I’ve spent was $50 at Bubbles in Pentagon City and that just about gave me a heartattack despite the fact that the man? Was incredible.) she brought it down to $115. I told her I want a dark honey blonde. I think that’s what I am now. I don’t know.

She said okay - I want to find pictures of what I’m looking for. I’d love to do bangs - the side swept type but I don’t think I’d work with them often enough to make it worth wasting the four years it took me to grow my bangs out.

I really kind of like Nicole Richie’s style here:

as the length isn’t too different from what I have now, and the color is similar enough…but the bangs. I can’t decide on the bangs. I hate being indecisive…

or perhaps something a lil more Jennifer Aniston…

then I don’t have to have bangs because sitting here, thinking of getting bangs and if i decide one morning i don’t like them again and having to go through ALL THOSE YEARS it took me to grow them out to begin with…is making me anxious.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? My hair is a lil longer than shoulder length and darker blonde…send any pictures of shoulder lengthish hair styles you think might look decent on moi :)

There’s something…mind numbing about working two jobs where ultimately you’re made to feel like a little bitch.

There’s nothing more demoralizing than staying at work late only to get home, make a quick clothing change only to run off to job number two for another five hours. While most of the working world goes into a mind numbing haze in front of the television after 6pm, I get to go put on a happy face and act like I give a crap about people that pay far too much for a gym membership when I’d rather be lazing about my own apartment with my fiance and our dog. Unfortunately, a girl’s gotta pay the bills and when an entry level gig with a non profit that pays next to nada doesn’t cut it? A second job is the only solution.

Though I have been starting to wonder lately, what it’s going to be like working only one job. Once fiance and I both get better paying jobs, I’m hopefully going to be able to quit job number 2. Now as much as I lurrve my free gym membership and fiance’s discounted gym membership, these nights of working till 11:30? Not sure how much they’re worth it in the long term since it’s only really tiring me out and making not want to even bother looking for a new job solely because of the time and effort involved in such a daunting task.

I just want…a livable wage? A job I enjoy? A puppy who doesn’t destroy furniture/household structures (door frames, flooring, etc…etc…) Is that really….really too much to ask for???

I thought so *sigh*

Not that dress shopping, not yet at least, my mother would DISOWN me if i went without her.

But shopping for our engagement pictures/engagement parties/wedding that we’re going to in July dress. Multi-use is always the best way to go no?

A few options:

Ann Taylor Loft $50 (on sale!)

Forever 21 $22.80

Forever 21 $24.80

Nordstrom $58

The Gap $39.99

Essentially…I’m looking for something classic looking, inexpensive, that can be worn with a pretty set of pearls. Now the first two are pushing it on the edge of classic, though i do love the madras print, not sure if that’s a good one for pictures and the like though would be good for the casual quasi-engagement parties that our families may or may not throw when we’re in the ‘cut and the v-t.

In other news, we set our date this morning after meeting with the priest at the church. September 12, 2009. I can’t believe it’s real. I can’t believe it in a good way but still, can’t. believe it. Like $175 in…ain’t no turning back now ;) Not that I would ever consider that an option.

We also made a joint account for bills today - should be good and we should better be able to manage all of our accounts also. I just need to switch over the account that everything is direct deposited into.

Finally (on the wedding planning front) we’re going to look at hopefully two sites this weekend, boyfriend (need a new code name!!) emailed one near the hill and I’m emailing another. I’d love to look at four and then pick one of those four. We both have the same first choice and I think if we can get that one, we’re going to take it.

This is getting so exciting, everyone is so very excited for us. I’ve just been glowing the past few days. I look at him every night and think that I am truly the luckiest girls in the world to be so lucky to have found a man so perfect for me.

/end sappiness.

Fret not freaders, I promise I won’t bombard you with gushiness and sappiness every post, nor will every entry become about wedding planning - we have a wedding blog on our soon to be wedding website for that. It’s still under construction. I’m trying to find a good theme, unfortunately I am not so good at the working with wordpress.org. *sigh*

…to realize early on that you may not be one of those girls who can get her nails done without smudging them on the way out of the nail salon. I am…one of those girls as I got my crappy nails did in a pale pink color today at lunch. The hispanic woman who did them up asked me all kinds of questions about my ring and was just fabulous - I definitely plan on going back there.

…to realize that you can’t please everyone. I can’t. i won’t. I’m not perfect. Nor do I pretend to be. I avoided making all kinds of phone calls this weekend so that I could enjoy the weekend with boyfriend (i need to start calling him Fiance on here because he’s not boyfriend anymore!) and kind of got some heat for not calling certain people. I’ll get around to it?? *sigh*

…to not take emails that are easily misinterpreted the wrong way. You may think they’re trying to offend you but that’s not likely the case. No need to cry over spilled milk right?

…to get the tough stuff out of the way first. Slacking early on to stress later does not a happy work week make. Of course assistants who don’t return calls when you’re trying to schedule calls don’t exactly help anything either.

…to believe it when you see it. I had read among many in the blog world the findings of Lilly Pulitzer and Vineyard Vines clothes at Marshall’s. Never the one to scour the racks at marshall’s, I went in the other day to check out the other Mega Shoe Store up in Columbia Heights. Alas, there it was. Right in front of me. A vineyard vines skirt. for $40. In a size 16. *sigh* At least I know it’s not just an urban shopping myth…I’ll frequent the Marshall’s and scour a bit more closely and maybe I’ll get lucky!

…to realize that in life, as in wedding planning, it’s YOURS. So do what you want. Do what is going to make you happy. I had my first crying fit yesterday before brunch because my dear old dad suggested having the wedding up north to spare the people that might not be able to make it down for the festivities. Unfortunately I am 200% against this. Why? I have never been a religious person, since I’ve been with boyfriend, I have found a home, friends and a community in our church and I will be DAMNED if someone stops me from walking down the aisle in that church. /stubborn bitchiness.

Anyhow, tonight…hopefully I’ll finally get that post up on my Marshall’s Mega Shoe Shop shopping experience! And of course “the image” of what I see my wedding as :)

* We basked in our own happiness and celebrated with everyone around us that was willing to celebrate

* We talked to our family, and friends and I’ve never felt so loved in my entire life

* I stared repeatedly at my beautiful ring. I can’t get over the beauty of it. I don’t think it’s sunk in that I’m really getting married!

* I asked my sister to be my maid of honor. She was surprised, but I think happy about it…I didn’t want to offend her by not having her be it.

* Met two new fabulous bloggers!

* Not looking forward to going back to work, but looking forward to my boss leaving tomorrow afternoon for two weeks.

* Need to get a manicure. ASAP. My nails look like hell.

* Also looking forward to getting on the wedding planning bandwagon. Expect a wedding website rollout in the next few days. Also, possibly me switching to a wordpress.org theme any thoughts on wordpress.com v. wordpress.org???

* Finally…am tired.

The happy hour has been moved due to inclement wather (predicted) we will be at rocket bar at gallery place across from the verizon center at 7pm. Look for me showing off my pretty new ring ;)

Hope y’all can make it!!

I saw it coming. But that didn’t make it any less amazing as we looked at the sunset on the Georgetown canal. I said yes, no hesitation. He got down on one knee and told me he wanted to spend his life with me, that he couldn’t tell me enough how much he loved me. I laughed to keep the tears away but as I write this, I can’t tell if I’m crying out of happiness or crying because we’re watching a special on Tim Russert which is just…too sad for words.

Friday the thirteenth…what a day.

Tomorrow? I go get my nails done. They look like shit. And I can’t be havin’ that with such a pretty ring :)

Thanks for all the congrats on facebook and on twitter :) Y’all are incredible!

This is just another happy reminder about tomorrow’s DC Blogger happy hour!

Come out, meet some awesome bloggers and mourn the lost of the beloved Tim Russert - a DC insider icon.

Should be a good time by hopefully more people than the last one brought out :)

My boss is out, I was 20 minutes late (thanks to the always pleasing Dunkins run), and apparently the metro sucked. Lucky for me, boyfriend and I decided to send puppeh to her daycare for the day so she could get some play time and burn off some energy since it’s been too hot as of late and she hates the heat.

You’d think this would be a good day. I’ve been kind of lazily getting work done but nope. Not so much.

Boyfriend apparently tried to call dear ole dad yesterday to no avail. So I told him I’d call him and set up a time that would be good for dad. I call after we pop into the grocery store to get puppy some treats (FROSTY PAWS!!!) and end up talking to the step mom. Dad’s in the hospital.

I had talked to him yesterday and he wasn’t feeling great, he has some calcium deposits or something from when he got hit in the face with a golf ball many years ago (10-15) and lately, they’ve been bothering him thanks to a bad infection. So they want to remove them but unfortunately, they can’t. So pop’s in a lot of pain and is kind of drugged up. So they brought him to the hospital since apparently they were only getting worse and it’s right near his saliva glands. Or something like that. i dunno…

Either way. No one called me. My fun day factor? Plumetted.

We won’t go into the obnoxiousness of the fact that step-mom didn’t have the decency to call. Dad later told boyfriend that he was going to have stepmom call me but…ummm…he shouldn’t tell her to call me. It shouldn’t be an afterthought. Why do they think my fathers health is of no concern to me? IT IS! He’s the only dad I’ve got an while our relationship is slightly strained, and somewhat awkward…he’s always been around when i needed him for the most part. So despite the fact that I don’t always show or tell dad how much he means to me…he means a lot. And no I’m not just saying that so he’ll fork over the dough for my almost pending nuptials. *cough cough*

Speaking of nuptials…boyfriend did get the blessing from both parents. Mom first (as requested) and then dad (as mentioned above). And this morning, he decided to buy me this:

!!!!!!!!!

Exceppppttt. I can’t read it yet.

He bought it and will give it to me when the time is “right.”

Such a tease.

Needless to say, I’ve been struggling to not peruse too many wedding websites. Though I did go over to Olssens Books across the street to see what they had (not much except the Modern Bride Survival Guide which…I skimmed. Not gonna lie.) just to get out of the office for a while. My head has just not been in the right place to get things done which is…not good.

But I have much to look forward to…aside from the accounting department here being sooo fucking obnoxious, boyfriend and I are going to Georgetown tonight for a date night - happy hour at J Pauls (he wants the raw bar) and then dinner at Tacklebox then a few drinks (nowhere near what we had last night though since I have to work from 9-2).

So aside from the sucky start, things can only get better. And what better way to start the weekend than to have your boss out, back in Monday then gone for two weeks? :)

That’s what I thought.

I vowed yesterday to not think about weddings. To not look at the knot, to not plan anything, to not even consider who would be in my bridal party or on my guest list. I took a vow and I was doing pretty good sticking to it.**

This morning and yesterday afternoon have kept me busy enough where I haven’t really had the time.

Then I get an email from DC Scout. Now normally, I love DC Scout. They have great deals, and tell us about great stores and some of the stuff they feature is way cute (albeit way out of my price range but that’s okay. A girl’s allowed to dream no?) . Wa Po - you do good by me often. But today? Not so much. The email was this…and it totally threw back to point A. Thinking about it, dreaming about it. Soon enough I will be eating, sleeping, dreaming and talking about nothing but wedding planning. I don’t need to jump the gun anymore than I already have…

Really Now WaPo…. you’re not helping anything with an email like that *sigh*

Is it wrong that I totally want to stop by said sample sale this weekend…for….shits and giggles?? *cough cough*

**I should note to any new readers who may be confuzzled by the wedding talk - i am not yet engaged. However, boyfriend and i have been talking about it on the heavy side and I am expecting him to get down on one knee…dare I say…any day now. *squeee!* So yeah. That’s where this is all stemming from.

*** I should also note that this email was about as helpful as finding this awesome blog DC Nearlyweds - great. Just what I need more wedding planning websites. *sigh*

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